The Day I Defied Death, Twice

This day may as well be my new birthday. It was on this date in two different years of my life that I defied death.

July 24, 2002. I would classify this as a Near-Death Experience. Long story short, I was with my ex-boyfriend at the time. He choked me in an argument, and I lost consciousness. I did not see light or anything like that, not that I remember. But what I do remember is blackness, with my Self-talk saying I have to get back to my best friend. “I gotta get back to Tani,” just over and over until it did lighten up as I fully regained consciousness. I was re-born that day, as I realized I do have true purpose in this world. That I am important to my best friend and he needed me back by his side.

July 24, 2016. Completely different experience. Completely different life. But anxiety likely related to that past relationship had grown and taken its toll. I lost my way, and kind of drifted along. Tani is still very much my best friend, but he has grown into himself now. I also have importance to my niece, but she is far away too, as Tani is. I was lost in the bottle. Binge drinking for 6+ years.

This day was the last day of my last mega-binge. I drank a lot over the last 2-3 days. I did work my bartending shifts, but my self-care lacked. I didn’t eat much, and I didn’t stop for water breaks during my busy shifts. So I basically was drinking coffee or alcohol. Straight.

As I closed my shift that Saturday night, I took one shot and went home. I was doing laundry that night, but I also had a bottle of apple vodka in the laundry room. I would take a shot, or a second one, as I flipped the loads. Next thing you know, I am passed out on the floor of my dining room bar.

I took a nap and powered up for our traditional Sunday Fundays at our pool. I realized I actually drank about half that bottle in about 3-4 hours the night before. The shot glass was actually more like 2-2.5 shots. But in my mind, “it was only one.”

What felt like a normal hangover eventually proved to be much worse. I went to the ER days later to find all kinds of internal damage. I have had a few drinking episodes since, a total of five, and I now realize that I cannot drink ever again because it aggravates the damage done back then.

I was re-born into someone who (obviously) cannot drink, but can help others find their way, be it via learning their birth chart, finding stones that resonate, making pretty things, Reiki, giving Tarot/Oracle readings…. Or maybe just being awesome. It is Leo Season, after all.

In the End…. Synchronicity

You may think this is a cheap play on Chester Bennington’s suicide, but let me assure you it is NOT. It is a play on a blog post I wrote over two years ago.

 https://bytheindigomoon.wordpress.com/2015/02/24/synchronicity-in-the-end/

The last time I was in my car before the news of Chester broke, this song came on. I reflected back on what this song means to me. It is the one of two songs that have ever made me cry straight away, based on substance as opposed to memory. (I’m pretty sentimental.)

I was in Dallas, Texas with my ex, up to no good. We got in a fight, a pretty bad one. At one point he was standing over me with a commercial-sized fire extinguisher, flinching me. Threatening to smash my face. I pushed his buttons, but our friend intervened and separated us. I was in the bedroom listening to the radio and this new Linkin Park song came on, In the End. I was frozen. It was like I could predict the next words because it resonated so strong.

I write about this, because symbolism is everything for me. Some would say I am ridiculous for the extent, but I am not trying to fit in a mold anymore. Time to shine. Shine my light for others, even if it means a dark topic about my ex. I was conflicted for so long, but now it is clear.

The symbolism here is that today of all days is when Chester chose to go. To him and others it is Chris Cornell’s birthday. While I loved Chris too, today is something even more significant for me. It is the 15th anniversary of the day that I chose to work one last shift at my beloved job with my bestie, then head out into uncharted waters. I drove to Mexico, to learn a whole lot of life lessons. In the coming weeks alone I would have transmission issues,  a Near-Death Experience, and ended up homeless on a beach in Cancun because I had no money for a hotel yet.

This symbolism speaks to me that I DO need to write about my ex, and anything else I feel could relate for someone somewhere. Not everyone is going to vibe with what I am doing, but that’s okay.

Feeling Free

I have been studying astrology for over five years now. I was sure to use my time as noted on my certificate and learned as much as I could about that chart. I came to identify so strongly with it…. for the most part. As I wrote yesterday, I have decided to test a theory. What if I were actually born four minutes earlier?

This gives a new chart. Not much changes, but a couple things change in a big way. The more I look into the changes, the stronger I identify with this new chart. This new persona. Being Pisces Rising, maybe I really do have the heart of a mermaid. 

I was living a conflicted life, which got even more conflicting the more I learned astrology. Maybe I knew deep inside I’m not Aries Rising. Since I changed the time in my Astro account and began to identify with this chart, I feel myself opening up and feeling free like never before. Just in time for Leo Season, my favorite. 😉

Four Minutes.

I officially did it… I overrode the time on my birth certificate and changed the time in my Astro account to reflect a time 4 minutes sooner. I did this after a lot of reflecting and soul searching. It is a huge deal, because it changes my angles.

The time on my certificate gives me Aries rising 1°45 and Cap MC 0°53. I resonated to the Aries but not the Capricorn. Aries is the ruler of the decans of my Sun/Saturn in Leo and Moon/Neptune in Sagittarius. Easy to feel an Aries influence. But I associate MC in Capricorn to be someone who has goals and ambitions. I never really have had any. 

The new time gives me Pisces rising 29°56 and Sagittarius MC 29°58. I easily resonate to the Sag MC because of the fluidity of ambition. You would think it would be easy to know if I were Pisces rising instead. But I have Moon/Neptune in exact conjunction, with Neptune being stationed. So that is a huge Pisces influence, even if I were truly Aries rising. I am both fire dominant and mutable dominant, without even factoring the ASC.

I read what it means to have Pisces rising. It rang so true. Source after source. I went back and re-read Aries rising, which I have identified with for over five years. I realize it may not be so true, after all.

So let this be a lesson to not assume your time if you want full accuracy. Even if your time is noted on your certificate, if something feels off chances are it could very well be. You know yourself best, and when it’s right you will know. I feel this is right.

I am working on verifying this new time via progressions and however else I can. If the time noted on the certificate ends up verifying, I will eat crow and report back. 😂😂

The Personal Horoscopes

The word ‘horoscope’ can mean a lot of things, but it all seems to mean the same thing. How can we expect the day/week/month/year to be. If you’re reading this, chances are you’ve at least looked at one in a newspaper or magazine before. But what if it doesn’t seem to make sense for you? It is generalized. Taking 12 signs basically groups us in general, taking only one object into account with the current skies.

To get the best possible horoscope for yourself, the individual, we need your location and time of birth, in addition to the date. Why is time important? You know there are 12 days a year when the Sun changes signs. I was born on one of them. Four hours later I would have a different Sun sign. The Moon changes signs every 2.5 days. For example, there is a big difference between Cancer Moon and Leo Moon. Time matters.

The biggest reason time matters is the Ascendant, or rising sign. This changes every two hours! The Ascendant is where the chart begins, the 1st house. I have an astro-twin friend, meaning we were born the exact same day, about 9 hours apart. We share Sun and all the planetary placements. Her Moon is only 5° away, but in transits that matters. The big difference of our charts is she has Scorpio rising. She was born midday when her Leo Sun was high in the sky. I am Aries rising. I was born right after sunset. This places her Sun in the 10th house, where mine is in the 6th. There are many, many things different about us, but we still are similar in some ways. What resonates for her may not for me, and vice versa. Time definitely matters.

When you have your chart made with the time included, there are a few ways to look at a horoscope for yourself. You. Not the other millions of Leos or whichever Sun sign. The Solar Return looks at the moment the Sun Returns to the natal position of your chart. It can be the day before, day of, or day after your birthday. You can look at this chart independently, and also compare it to your natal or progressed charts to see what kind of year you can expect. You can play with dates to see the years before.

To condense it down to monthly instead, you can make a Lunar Return chart. This looks at the position of the Moon each month when it Returns to your natal position. (This will end up being different from my friend’s.)

This is my upcoming Lunar Return, to be exact a little over three hours from the time of this writing. The almost-full moon is coming into its orb, the degrees of difference between two aspects. 11th house Moon here in this chart, so perhaps my 11th house themes of friends and network will be highlighted. Sun and Mars in the 6th, active month. Supportive of starting my business. Pluto in the 1st maybe there will be a fundamental transformation. Jupiter at his station point in the 9th. Fuel for expansion in my 9th house themes. Mercury in the 5th suggests my communication will be expressed creatively. Venus on the IC maybe I will work to make the things close to my heart more beautiful. And you gotta love a Capricorn Ascendant when you need to handle business.

Like I said, I can apply this also to my natal and progressed charts for further insights, like a typical transit chart. That would be a whole ‘nother post, so maybe it’s better to leave off here. Thank you for reading. 💚

As Life Progresses…

Astrology is pretty much a never-ending study. Sun sign astrology is increasingly a big part of the mainstream, but actually the rabbit hole goes deep. We can learn about birth charts, Moon signs, rising signs, and all the planets, points, and angles that make us individual people. 

Once we have a good grasp on the chart and all it contains, we can learn about transits. Transits are what the sky map looks like right now. Also if we place this sky map onto our chart, we see how the planets are transiting ours at the current moment, or any moment. This is how horoscopes are crafted. I love to play with dates and see the astrology in action in my life. Now I have progressed on to… Progressions. The progressed chart. 

Think of your natal chart like your Self. Your naked body as you came into this world. Nothing will ever change about this, and everything comes back to this. The progressed chart is like the clothes you put on. They change over time, and seem to represent the evolution of our personalities. The calculation of the progressed chart is generally speaking a day for a year, to progress the chart one day for each year of your life. I am currently 39, so the progressed chart is ran for 39 days after I was born. Obviously the change isn’t only an immediate, once-a-year event, but rather little by little every day. So it is further broken down to four minutes each day. My progressed chart from yesterday is ran for four minutes earlier than today’s chart. Make sense? I use the astro dot com site to see the progressed charts.

This is my progressed chart for the date of this writing. The outer planets haven’t moved much from my natal placements. Other than Mercury, all the personal planets have changed signs. I can see their effects in my life. My Leo Sun may be a little more peaceful and fair having progressed into Libra, for example. My progressed Ascendant has been Gemini for the last two years. I am still very much Aries rising, but now with a Gemini twist.

The Moon spends about 2.5 days in each sign. As reflected in the progressed chart, the Moon spends about 2.5 years in each sign. Day for a year, remember? Two days ago, my progressed Moon entered Gemini. I can expect myself to be more Gemini in my feelings in the next couple years. I can also compare the progressed to my natal to see potential stressful times. The last few months saw my progressed Taurus Moon in square to my natal Leo Saturn and Sun, so that wasn’t always fun.

I like Gemini energy, so I am excited for this cycle. Especially once progressed Moon crosses into my progressed 1st house in August. If you would like to learn more, come find me on Facebook. 💚

One Step Closer

I legally incorporated my business two weeks ago, the day of the Scorpio Full Moon. We held off opening our business bank account for various reasons. We opened it today, and I will just thank the Universe, for once again validating astrology in my life…

This is the chart for around the time we went to the bank. The Moon has moved on now, but at that time was still in Leo… therefore locked into this beautiful Kite. It also makes sense to have done it now, with the Moon waxing, as opposed to waning as it would have been had we done it right away. Also, Mercury and Pluto just exacted their trine, and with my Mercury make a Grand Trine in effect now for only a couple days.

I’ve wrote about this Kite before, and what it means for me and my Natal chart. With my Mars, IC/MC, Jupiter, Saturn, and Sun involved, my Kite has flown just a little higher. I’m one step closer. 😍🙏

My Saturn Return

I am absolutely stunned right now, that once again astrology has been verified in my life. 

I looked into the Saturn activity in 2007, as my Saturn is 21°39 Leo. Curious what the infamous Saturn Return meant for me. I found there was a Retro period over this placement. First pass was early October 2006. It wasn’t so much of a deal. The Retro pass was February 11, 2007. My beloved Chicago Bears lost the Super Bowl only one week earlier, but otherwise life was okay. I went forward to see which date Saturn Returned for the last time…

June 23, 2007. That was my best friend’s 21st birthday. Long story short, he and I kinda drifted apart for a bit, to the point I wondered where I even stood anymore. That day he was leaving for an adventure to California, so I wanted to clear the air before he left. We quickly and effectively sorted the misunderstanding. THAT DAY. Of my Saturn Return!!! We have had no issues since, and celebrate 15 years together now this year. 💚

The Waiting Game…

A lot has changed in a short time. I last wrote about my beautiful transiting kite, lasting most of the rest of the year. It was almost like an affirmation; an intention. 

Since then, I got such good response from the bracelet I made. Friends commissioned me to make them one. I did, specific to each person. They love it so much I’ve decided to try this seriously, Reiki jewelry. A perfect way to create income from home, while I write when inspired. It is going over so well that my husband and I have decided to look into making it a fully legit business. We have talked to our accountant. She recommended her attorney. ….And now we wait.

Why wait? Mercury Retrograde. It is advised to not sign documents during this time. We can also extend that to opening a separate bank account. I feel so impatient, as is he. But it is only a week and a half. Just frustrating. In the meantime, I can work on building an inventory, and research things I need to know. Wholesale costs, etsy, PayPal, shipping…  

I have also very much increased activity on my Facebook page, By the Indigo Moon. I feel I have truly found purpose for once in my life, to help people learn about astrology and crystal healing. I also add some Oracle/Tarot, random humor, general positivity and spirituality. If you would like to learn these things, come fly with me there. 💚💚

High Flying Kite…Why Saturn Retrograde can be a blessing.

I spoke before about following Moon transits in daily life. But all planets matter. They all affect us somehow. Sometimes it is good to step back and look at the whole picture. Your whole chart. Especially when major transits happen, like a Saturn Retrograde.

The outer planets move slow, so their effect is long-term, but often profound. Sometimes planets line up in a stressful aspect to your chart. Other times planets are very supportive. I would say at those times, “Your chart is lit up like Christmas.” I will use some of my personal natal chart right now, mixed with the relevant transits, to illustrate.

I have my (chart ruler) Mars at 24° Gemini. Because he rules my chart, I am especially sensitive to his transits and/or transits to his position. I have my natal Saturn at 21° and Sun 29°, both Leo.

Uranus is transiting my 1st house, at 24° Aries. Trine my Sun and Saturn, and sextile my Mars. He will soon enter his Shadow period, so he will come back to this degree in this year’s Retrograde. He won’t exit the shadow after Retro for another year, so his effects for me will be a while after that. He is totally, slowly, transforming my 1st house themes and will be for a few more years.

Saturn has officially went Retro, but this time I am NOT afraid. I was beat up in his last two Retros. This time is different. This time he blesses me. Because he is trine with transiting Aries, he now supports me lovingly as I make these changes in both my 1st house and the 9th house themes he himself is covering. He is also trine with my Sun currently, and his Retro will take him back to station in trine with my Saturn in August. He will then retrace his steps and won’t come out of Shadow (back to this point) until December. He will be at full steam then, so he will quickly exact the trine to my Sun and move on to Capricorn. All these trines together (Aries/Leo/Sagittarius) compose a Grand Trine. The triangles you see in the illustration.

Transiting Saturn is also in opposition with my Mars. Mars position is about halfway through Saturn’s Retro degrees, so I will feel this throughout. Oppositions can be good or bad. This time I think it is good. My Mars is sextile natally with Saturn and Sun, and is also sextile with transiting Uranus. This makes the kite formation. My Mars is in my 3rd house, so those themes are changing.

I don’t know where these winds will carry me. Uranus can be unpredictable. But I feel I have finally found something to be passionate for, and that Saturn will support whatever comes my way.