My first Mandala, perfect for tonight’s Sun/Neptune conjunction in Pisces, with the Moon hanging out mid-Gemini.
I have always felt that Spirit communicates with me through music. Sometimes a song is written, and I just feel I couldn’t have written it any better. It goes much deeper than that, of course. We know about 11:11, but signs from Spirit are everywhere. The most obvious to me are musical.
I am struggling with the direction of this blog, with the focus of my purpose. I have many stories to tell. Some aren’t so pleasant. I do not want this blog weighed down by negativity of things that happened in the past.
In the car the other day, I thought of things to write about. I feel compelled to write about my toxic relationship, but to what degree? I thought of one of those ‘perfect songs’ from that time in my life. That’s when I got my answer…. the very next song was indeed, “In the End” by Linkin Park. Perhaps I will write a book and put those stories there.
Since then, there has been an explosion of synchronicities in my world. Seeing number sequences, coincidental posts on Facebook, chance conversations with inspirational people. Confirmation I am on the right track.
Be willing to ask Spirit for answers you seek. Be open to seeing the signs, because In the End… Synchronicity.
Greetings and salutations.
At the time I begin this, my natal Sun is touching the Ascendant. By the time I post, the Moon will have moved into Aries, to meet with Mars and Venus… and also my Ascendant. I feel this is the perfect time to begin. To tell my story, my stories, of living a life by the light of my very own Indigo Moon.
I have been here for 37 years. For 37 years, I have struggled in this life. I have never met my father. I always felt more like a souvenir from my mom’s military days in Puerto Rico, than a person worthy of existence.
I struggled with school. I am naturally very smart, but I felt any effort was wasted without validation from my father. It carried into adulthood. I first had a toxic relationship which lasted six years, then almost rejected this man I married because I felt unworthy of someone so good.
Which brings me to now… We had to move five years ago for my husband’s job. At the time, I had a position I loved. I am a long-time server/bartender. Being sixth-house strong, I was good at my job. Having to leave there and face the unknown here, led me to drink. A lot. Once I moved here, as I feared, I was unable to find a similar supportive working environment. I felt compelled to have a job out in the world, but what kind? Without paternal support I was always hindered to even find what my dreams could be. Even though I was good at what I was doing, I still felt empty, and disconnected from purpose or direction. Even my husband said it was like I was lost. And I was, lost in the bottle.
Almost two years ago, right at my Jupiter Return, we bought our perfect house. Comfortable, serene sunroom, with a pool and woods beyond. Indeed I felt blessed, but it wasn’t enough. Even this amazing home could not fill the hole inside of me. I drank even more.
I have always been drawn to Astrology, and in recent years it has become an obsession. I truly believe the Divine Spirit has given us Astrology as a guide map to ourselves, and our lives. It has given me great self-awareness.
It is through this obsession that I started reading what it means to be an Empath. That resonated with me. Then around the Solstice New Moon (on my MC) and Christmastime, I felt compelled to subject my birth chart for analysis by people who know a whole lot more than me.
Two people changed my life. They helped me identify as Indigo, and to begin writing. To heal myself, and maybe help someone else, too. It was the catalyst for me to quit drinking. I am now six weeks without being drunk, and it will only get better from here.
This is my blog, and my voice. I will use this blog to tell my stories. Some could be inspiring, some entertaining. I will also use this blog as kind of an Astrological journal. It will help me create even stronger self-awareness, and maybe I can help with that for you, too.