Timing is Everything.

I have read a lot about astrological timing. Think about it, how many ancient cultures have learned to live life by the astronomy. The study of how it applies to us individually (and collectively) is called, Astrology. There is much I have yet to learn, but I am learning to apply it to my own life.

I water my plants only when the Moon is in a Water sign (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces) or Earth sign (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn). Never Fire, especially not fertilizing because it can burn the roots. Never Air, because it could cause too much air to affect the roots. It has worked for almost two years now.

I’m about to get a haircut and color. It is the perfect time for it to be bold (Aquarius Sun), well liked (Leo Moon), and grow faster (still between New and Full Moons). At Full Moon it is the perfect way to actually cut something out of life, and this can help emotionally.

There are so many ways you can use Astrology to benefit your life. From romance to finding a new job. When you learn your birth chart, you can also learn how to time the planets to maximize yourself. 

Lunar Blessings to you! 💚

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Star-Struck and Eclipsed!

When you wish upon a star…..

On Saturday, February 11 at 00:33 UT (February 10, 7:33pm EST) we will have our first eclipse of four in 2017. This Full Moon Eclipse falls on the axis of 22°28 Leo/Aquarius. It is a beautiful chart, with many layers. I have set this chart for my local time. Depends where you are it may be rotated to some degree, but we will all see the same star formation in the chart.

Usually the New Moon is a time for wishes, but this is one time when we can use this Full Moon for a specific wish. If there is something in your life you want to change or need to let go of, now is the perfect time. No matter how hard you feel this change might be, whether its a job or a relationship, or some habit, now is the time to let go.

The Full Moon is traditionally the time to release and let go of that which no longer serves us. Given the planets involved in the Star formation it is definitely time. The Sun reflects who we are on the surface. The Moon influences our emotions. Uranus is a game-changer and Jupiter expands that which it touches. At the apex of the Star we find Saturn, who is all about discipline, to add staying power to whatever changes we make now.

I wrote the other day how Tom Brady has this in his natal chart, and how through the transits he became the Star once again on Super Bowl Sunday. It is time for us to shine. 

Speaking of shining, another layer to this chart is a Kite formation. Sun/Moon opposition, with that triangle (Grand Trine) of Moon, Saturn and Uranus. This features the Sun as the apex. Shine bright, and send your wish upon the Star, to let go. 

The Cusp is an Illusion.

If your birthday is between the 19-24th of the month, you have probably heard you were born on the cusp. I sure have, as I was born on the 22nd. It is said that we have a blend of the two energies. I bought into it, because I could see what they were saying. A Leo/Virgo. 

But then I really started learning astrology. I no longer buy into the cusp theory. I get the physicality behind it. There is a brief period where the planet crosses the plane (cusp) and is kinda straddling the two signs. I can admit that. So maybe the last degree and the first degree, but…

When learning astrology, it is said that the very first and very last degree of a sign are the strongest. The sign begins at 0°00 and is known as Critical degrees, the purest form of the sign. The sign ends at 29°59. The 29th degree is known as Anaretic. It is explained like the sign is strongest there, and trying to squeeze every ounce left before it moves on. To me, this goes against the cusp theory. It is either one sign or the next.

So why do I feel the blend of energies then?

We are not just our Sun signs. We are a blend of all the signs to some extent. When our other planets and points are placed in signs different than our Sun our energies reflect this. 

The planets Mercury and Venus are inside Earth’s orbit so long story short they stay real close with the Sun in the charts. They can only be so far away so they are often found in your Sun’s sign, the one before, or the one after. 

The planet Mercury is said to influence mental functions/communications. I have my Mercury strongly placed in Virgo. This explains why I have Virgo tendencies. I am very much a Leo on the surface (Sun) who thinks and communicates (Mercury) like a Virgo.

Astrology goes deep. It really does. But it makes for great life-long learning and awareness. If I were born just four hours later I would then be a Virgo. But I’m not. I’m definitely Leo. *with Virgo tendencies. 😉

Astrology of the MVP

Tom Brady was destined to be a Star. It was written in the stars. The planets, actually. The planetary alignment in his birth chart shows a Star pattern. Some people call it a pentagram, but that carries negative connotations.

A simple search shows Tom Brady was born August 3, 1977 at 11:48am in San Mateo, California. I love that the time is disclosed because that gives us the full chart with Ascendant and houses.

The Star has his Sun at the pinnacle, 11° Leo in the 10th house. The other points of the Star form a rectangle: Neptune at 13° Sagittarius opposite Mars at 11° Gemini. Pluto at 11° Libra opposite Moon at 6° Aries. Neptune and Pluto are sextile, as are Moon and Mars. Mars and Pluto sextile Sun. Moon and Neptune form a Grand Trine with his Sun completing the Star. 

After such an unreal game, I was compelled to check the transits for when the Super Bowl was scheduled to begin.

The first thing that grabs my attention was that the moon is at 11°11 Gemini. Numerology is a whole different subject, I just thought it was cool to add that bit for effect.

But really though, it is definitely a big deal that we see Mars at 6° Aries and Moon at 11° Gemini. If we apply the transits to Tom’s chart we see they are mutually receptive. Transiting Mars on his Moon and transiting Moon on his Mars. Both are pretty exact, and take place in his beautiful Star chart. Also we see transiting Sun is about exactly trine to his North Node/Ascendant. Shining the light on his destiny this magical night. 

Living Out Loud

I can be bold. Obnoxious even, when it comes to sports especially. I toe the line of playful banter, or not so playful. I openly obsess over Mexico. I gush over my kitties and my beautiful home. But I often hold back, as well.

All my life I have felt so insecure. They say you can’t miss what you never had, but there is nothing that could replace Daddy’s love. I’ve never felt that, so I’ve often felt out of place in the world. Ashamed and afraid. Even at the age of 39.

The answer to life’s problems is definitely not at the bottom of any bottle. I’ve searched many. It has been 22 weeks now since my last binge.

Every one of us is different, and we need to do what is best for ourselves. I have chosen to do this recovery by myself. As in, without rehab or therapy of any kind. I have ‘graduated’ from one program already, but obviously it did not do what I really needed to change at the time. I have to say it did give me some tools and awareness to ultimately face this, fourteen years later. I have my own program.

My main trigger to relapse is anxiety. I am aware of that. I am working to eliminate or at least manage the anxiety so it doesn’t consume me. I researched vitamins and supplements, for both anxiety and to hopefully rebuild my poor liver. I have been faithful in this regime for almost five months now. Writing is also helping. I have hobbies like astrology, sports, and swimming.

My problem with traditional therapy is that I cannot allow myself to connect easily. Counselors have actually given up on me. I just cannot fully trust someone when I was forsaken before I was ever born. I am married to the most wonderfully supportive, understanding man. I have come a long way in my relationship with him in my self-worth department but maybe I still kind of hold back in some ways. I have friends and close friends. Different people see different sides or layers of me.

I have to be accountable in my recovery. Accountability was a HUGE deal in my program. Personal accountability. “I language.” That aspect of the classes has helped me tremendously in life. I made it part of who I am and have always carried it with me. Accountability is a big part of AA or other programs as well. I am accountable to my husband and my best friend, who is also fighting this battle 400 miles away.

Social media has really come into life since I was in that program, and it truly could be the most helpful tool in my recovery. Being able to connect, instantly, around the world. It is that connection I crave, that I need. I was never Daddy’s girl, though my husband does spoil me entirely now. I stay home these days. I am focusing on my recovery. My husband works, but is not always immediately accessible when anxiety strikes. My close friends also have jobs, families, or obligations.

Feeling connection helps me feel purpose. As a fatherless daughter I struggle with that often. Like the quote attributed to John Lennon, when I grow up I just want to be happy. I love when I make people laugh. Friends have noted that is what they remember about me. I even got the crying/laughing emoji as a Christmas present. I post things all day just trying to laugh my day away.

I find myself posting and writing a lot about my recovery. I find that it is actually the most effective form of accountability for me. Sure I am accountable to my people, but I have also failed them on many occasions before. Since I have brought my recovery to social media, it has changed my game entirely. If I fail now it will be on a world stage. I don’t know if my Leo ego could allow it.

So for that, I will not apologize. I will live my recovery loud and proud. I will no longer apologize for being myself out of fear of what someone may think. I’m almost 40 and I’ve lived this long without Daddy’s approval. My inner rebel is quite amused.

Yes, You Really Can.

It has taken some time to process this, but yes you can. You really can do whatever you put your mind to.

I taught myself Spanish. I’m not quite fully fluent, but I have no trouble with it at all. I wanted to be able to speak Spanish as long as I can remember. Much of my adult life I have worked in restaurants with some Spanish speaking people. It drove me nuts when non- speakers would say “I wish I could speak Spanish too.” Well guess what, yes you can. If you really want to you can teach yourself just like I did. Little by little for the last 20 years now. Practicing what I know and trying to learn more as I go. Reading as much as possible in Spanish helps a lot, too. My Spanish and my accent both are so good that natural Spanish speakers can’t believe I’m American. But I taught myself. You can too.

Astrology. I wanted to learn so I am learning. For the last five years I have read all I can. I joined some astrology groups on Facebook. I don’t post too much but I lurk and I learn. I know so much that people have come to me to teach a beginner class. People often ask me for insights on their charts. I don’t know it all, but little by little. Yes you can.

Drums. I’ve always been fascinated and want to play. I have taken every opportunity to learn. Watching music videos, listening to music intently through my headphones. Any opportunity to watch someone play live I studied them carefully. Sometimes I have sat at the set myself. Hopefully soon I will have my own drums in my basement, and I will prove again that yes, you can.

This brings me to my biggest challenge yet. Not drinking alcohol. I had to quit drinking about 6 months ago for medical reasons. Was it hard? Oh yes. I had been leaning on the bottle for over 6 years since I had to move here. What do I do without my ‘best friend?’ I have cried a lot. I miss out on times with actual friends when I think I might be too tempted. Whatever I have to do I’m doing. People say that too, “I wish I could stop drinking.” Don’t tell me that. Because yes, you can. 

I may get snarky people who think I’m insensitive to the addiction, but I was labelled alcoholic 14 years ago. It became a monster for me in the last 7 years. But not anymore. I have over 5 months of not even a taste of alcohol now. I decided no more hangovers and no more IVs at the hospital. 

Like the saying goes, “I decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore so I changed.” If you really want to, you can too. Si se puedes.

So Much Hate at Only Eight

I have always been fascinated by travel, and maps. I loved the atlas. I had US and world books both. I spent countless hours studying them. Geography was a strength in school, when I went. I was in a dream world much of my childhood because reality wasn’t always so nice to me. I had friends in my neighborhood, like so many kids do. I had to be like seven or eight years old this one day….

I was at the neighbor’s house. There were three girls, but this day only one was there. She was five I think. Her mom was white, and her dad Mexican. He was in and out of their lives for whatever reasons but he obviously was here for this.

The door was kicked in and the apartment was soon filled with cops. It was a drug raid. The four of us were handcuffed, face down in the living room. That’s right, seven year old me and five year old her, along with her parents. There were cops in each corner of the room with handguns drawn in our general direction. There was one cop who stood over Felipe with a shotgun barrel buried into his brainstem. Felipe would shout, “No hablo ingles. No hablo ingles!” To which the cop replied, “Bullshit, Felipe. We fucking know you can speak English!” And he would shove the barell a little harder. Unreal. I just kept thinking how I couldn’t believe this girl is watching this happen with her dad. 

Eventually the situation calmed. They had me in the girls’ bedroom separated to ask me whatever I knew, which really wasn’t anything. They asked about my family. It broke my heart when I couldn’t tell them anything about my own father. They let me go home. It seems like they didn’t find anything other than a kitchen scale, which didn’t make sense to me until I got older. But anyway.

I think it was the same year when I was by myself climbing a tree in my front yard. It was on the terrace, the strip of grass between sidewalk and street. I knew if we didn’t cut that grass or rake those leaves we would get in trouble with the city. I assumed it was my tree. A cop pulled up and stopped. He looked up at me and said, “You need to get down from there. That tree is city property. You need to get down from there right now. If I come by here again and see you up there I’m gonna arrest your parents.” 

Are you KIDDING me?!?!?! I was furious. I said nothing, but got down and went inside. Arrest my parents? Dude I have ONE parent, you ignorant fuck. And she was everything to me. How can you make my mom go to jail for MY actions? It made no sense to me.

That was the day I decided I want nothing to do with this country. I wanted to run away many times already in my young life, but this just affirmed it. It gave me an actual reason other than the general feeling I didn’t belong. A rebel with a cause. 

I am so smart and had great grades when I wanted to, but then I had Civics class. My teacher said day one if we participate in class and turn in assignments we would pass the class. Indeed. I passed with a D-. I refused to learn about a country I did not want to live in.

I did take opportunity to leave the country. I was gone five months. I learned a lot about myself. I also accepted that I had been so wrong for so long. America wasn’t quite so bad, after all. But, I don’t really want to have my own kids. God forbid they want to climb a tree or something.