Trigger Warning.

This has been a long time coming. Three and a half years ago, I told my husband I feel I should write a blog. He said do it. πŸ’žπŸ’žπŸ’ž

I started this blog By the Indigo Moon right away, but held back. I held back because it’s some hard material. Nobody wants to read about “poor me”… But then a friend in Africa pointed out that my writings, even when they get dark, are always light, or I wrap it up that way. This story does ultimately have a happy ending, so I will proceed. It seems to be tearing at my soul to hold back any longer, so it must be meant to happen. Consider yourself trigger warned, though. πŸ™πŸ˜ž

I was 19 when I met my ex, Mike. We were friends first for a few months, then I moved in with him (and his dad) right away when things advanced beyond friendship. There were red flags, but for my whatever reasons I chose to ignore them.

It was good between us for some time. Arguments, yes, but just words and not very intense. It escalated after we got our own place. For the record, I did slap him first. But ultimately I created a monster, or at least unleashed one, and we had wars fairly often. It went on for some time. There came a point when we both realized we went too far, and silently agreed never again. And we didn’t, for like a year and a half.

One night, I took his cousin Marc home after a night of fun. Marc was raised with some religion. Mike hated religion. I was somewhere inbetween. Marc and I had a talk for about a half hour that night. I told him I’m not sure about life with Mike, because I knew it was whack. He said, “Start praying. Start praying and don’t you stop.” I prayed for a sign from God about this…..

A little over 48 hours after this conversation, Mike picked me up from my bartending job, as usual. We went home to find we are homeless now because our house caught fire. 😡😡

It worked out right away. We weren’t actually homeless because we stayed with his dad again for a few months. I took it as a sign to stay with him. 😞That was January 2000.

A little over a year later, February 2001, we both were settled into jobs and a house of our own again. But then he lost his job. He was already a convicted drug felon, but he chose to get back into that game. By the time June came around, he was given an offer he couldn’t refuse, and planning to drive to Dallas. I always wanted to go there, so I talked my way into joining the adventure. That was a bunch of crazy stuff that I seriously would like to turn into a movie one day. Action and suspense. A Mexican Mafia came looking for us. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’There’s so much to write about, but I will save some things for other, shorter blogs.

We ended up getting in trouble in August 2001. Yes, both of us. If I would have told the cops the weed was his, maybe I could have walked with no charges. NaΓ―ve at 23, I said it was both of ours. “Possession is nine-tenths of the law” is a common expression, that’s why I said that, but I likely would have been the one-tenth that was in possession but it’s not mine. Coulda-shoulda-woulda has haunted me ever since.

I wrote some about life in Mexico already. I have stated a reason why I went. That was not a lie. I always wanted to leave this country, until I did. It just isn’t the whole truth.

With having a prior conviction, Mike was looking at significant jail time. He wanted to leave the country to avoid prosecution. Although we were trying to break up with each other, he saw this whole thing as MY fault, and therefore I had to go with him. He had no license and knew no Spanish. I had a license and good Spanish skills.

We fought a lot over it. I would say no and he would throw me across the room by my throat. Ultimately, one day he put a gun to my head over this. “Where are you not going?” I told him I agree to go, but only because I’m going to do what I gotta do to get him out of my life. πŸ‘ŒπŸ˜‚

It worked, ultimately. We went to Cancun in July 2002 where along the way, he literally almost killed me. I went under. I just remember telling the black space that I must return home to my best friend, and I eventually regained consciousness. πŸ’š

We left Cancun to return to the States in December 2002 via a car ferry that went to Tampa. We got off the ferry and straight to jail, with bailjumping warrants. We were extradited to Wisconsin to face charges in January 2003. He bailed himself out and let me sit. I got my felonies attached to my name, and sat all my time and then some. Two weeks shy of a full year on a 9 month sentence. I had work release for those 9 months, though, and was able to return to my old waitress job working with my best friend.

I also started dating the man who is now my husband during that time. How amazing that he has never judged me and has fully embraced me. Even these parts he don’t want to hear. I am now and have been since: safe, loved, spoiled, and fully 100% supported and protected on every level. All I have to do these days is stay sober from alcohol and hard drugs, make some Reiki bracelets, and maybe do some card readings. Make memes and help people laugh with me and learn astrology as The Sober Astrologer. Enjoy my amazing pool and all that my new life has brought me. Amen. πŸ™

Thank you for reading. πŸ’š


5 thoughts on “Trigger Warning.

  1. Love, you are so brave. Different stories and circumstances, but so much that resonates. Thank you for being brave and sharing. It means a lot to those like me. Btw, this is AllieAstrology πŸ’œ


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