The Day I Defied Death, Twice

This day may as well be my new birthday. It was on this date in two different years of my life that I defied death.

July 24, 2002. I would classify this as a Near-Death Experience. Long story short, I was with my ex-boyfriend at the time. He choked me in an argument, and I lost consciousness. I did not see light or anything like that, not that I remember. But what I do remember is blackness, with my Self-talk saying I have to get back to my best friend. “I gotta get back to Tani,” just over and over until it did lighten up as I fully regained consciousness. I was re-born that day, as I realized I do have true purpose in this world. That I am important to my best friend and he needed me back by his side.

July 24, 2016. Completely different experience. Completely different life. But anxiety likely related to that past relationship had grown and taken its toll. I lost my way, and kind of drifted along. Tani is still very much my best friend, but he has grown into himself now. I also have importance to my niece, but she is far away too, as Tani is. I was lost in the bottle. Binge drinking for 6+ years.

This day was the last day of my last mega-binge. I drank a lot over the last 2-3 days. I did work my bartending shifts, but my self-care lacked. I didn’t eat much, and I didn’t stop for water breaks during my busy shifts. So I basically was drinking coffee or alcohol. Straight.

As I closed my shift that Saturday night, I took one shot and went home. I was doing laundry that night, but I also had a bottle of apple vodka in the laundry room. I would take a shot, or a second one, as I flipped the loads. Next thing you know, I am passed out on the floor of my dining room bar.

I took a nap and powered up for our traditional Sunday Fundays at our pool. I realized I actually drank about half that bottle in about 3-4 hours the night before. The shot glass was actually more like 2-2.5 shots. But in my mind, “it was only one.”

What felt like a normal hangover eventually proved to be much worse. I went to the ER days later to find all kinds of internal damage. I have had a few drinking episodes since, a total of five, and I now realize that I cannot drink ever again because it aggravates the damage done back then.

I was re-born into someone who (obviously) cannot drink, but can help others find their way, be it via learning their birth chart, finding stones that resonate, making pretty things, Reiki, giving Tarot/Oracle readings…. Or maybe just being awesome. It is Leo Season, after all.

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The Waiting Game…

A lot has changed in a short time. I last wrote about my beautiful transiting kite, lasting most of the rest of the year. It was almost like an affirmation; an intention. 

Since then, I got such good response from the bracelet I made. Friends commissioned me to make them one. I did, specific to each person. They love it so much I’ve decided to try this seriously, Reiki jewelry. A perfect way to create income from home, while I write when inspired. It is going over so well that my husband and I have decided to look into making it a fully legit business. We have talked to our accountant. She recommended her attorney. ….And now we wait.

Why wait? Mercury Retrograde. It is advised to not sign documents during this time. We can also extend that to opening a separate bank account. I feel so impatient, as is he. But it is only a week and a half. Just frustrating. In the meantime, I can work on building an inventory, and research things I need to know. Wholesale costs, etsy, PayPal, shipping…  

I have also very much increased activity on my Facebook page, By the Indigo Moon. I feel I have truly found purpose for once in my life, to help people learn about astrology and crystal healing. I also add some Oracle/Tarot, random humor, general positivity and spirituality. If you would like to learn these things, come fly with me there. 💚💚

Because Why Not Do It All?

I haven’t written lately. Not because there hasn’t been anything to write about, but rather because I have so much I could write about. Life. Sobriety. Crystals. Astrology. I have put enormous pressure on myself to choose a focus. Even a primary focus. But I had a shift lately, as they say. I realize I could do it all. So, why not?

A couple years ago, I compulsively bought several types of stone beads. I love crystal therapy, and wanted to make jewelry. But as usual, I hit a creative block and they sat in the basement. Until yesterday. I reunited with my favorite Reiki classmate. We talked astrology, and he taught me how to make bracelets. 

*The color is modified by Instagram. The stones I used are blue apatite, goldstone, howlite skulls, and lava stones. 

I put essential oil on the lava stone. It soaks up the oil for easy, on-the-go diffusion. It wears off in a couple days, then I can do it again and change the scent if I choose.

I am a Reiki Master, so I infused the bracelet with Reiki. It feels empowering. I am inspired, for the first time maybe ever. I can’t wait to see what more I will create. Because why not do it all.💚